Bean Counter

The more classes I attend the more it makes me wonder, what do you do when your passion isn’t profitable? Do you settle for just some career that you will forever be doomed to hate and dread and spiral into a perpetual case of the Mondays yet highly profitable? Or do you go into a field that you remotely have interest in that pays very little but highly rewarding?

Does money equal happiness when your real dreams and aspirations are unobtainable?

I seem to be always trying to find the answer to this and I think I need to find out soon. From an outside perspective most late 20 year olds seem to have their life together. They have met someone they can stand to be around for more than 3 months at a time. They are in a field of work they seemingly don’t want to slice their wrist to avoid. They have a one tone car and a house or apt without a roommate. Now me on the other hand I have a biology degree with only a mediocre GPA-which is why nursing or medical field is out. Plus I’m not big into being coughed, vomited, bled, or pooed on.  I am still rocking the same car since I was 16 despite a wreck so it’s a two tone color-sweet silver hood! I term out at about 2 dates to 3 months on dating people before its done.

My ideal job would be research/talking to serial killers. Yes, this could potentially be a job such as a profile with the BAU but they really want someone that is a psychology graduate.  Plus that requires living out on the East Coast for the most part and I really have no desire for that coast. Plus if you do your hobby for your job, you would really want to take your work home and I really don’t need to limit my social life even more!

Currently studying accounting and the more and more I am in the class the more and more I realize Hey zeussssssss!!! WHY GOD why!?! But the perk is the pay and the fact they will always be in need. So to count beans or to not count beans, that is the question. That question will be answered after exam 2, if it’s a no go then might as well  torture high school students with my nerdy love all things science.

I wouldn’t mind teaching Biology but with all the government stuff, I want to actually have a job!!! With a teaching job I could still continue my current job at night or weekends or on breaks as a subsidized income. Plus how awesome would it be to work in a 4 day a week school district, 3 day weekends, holidays, and summers off-Where the hell do I sign up for that lap of luxury with a  livable salary of the national average of 55,934 based on information provided by  Salary.com. Yes I know Oklahoma salary is lower than the avg and you have a lot of work you end up doing at home.

Got any input for me?? Do you know me well enough to recommend a path you think I’d rock at? Preferably one that allows me to achieve my current goal of a one tone car….I know I aim high!

My life is like a Lemon Drop: I'm sucking on the bitter to get to the SWEET part

************Side note before I continue: I appreciate the military I really do and anyone that signed up to potentially be shot or blown up to allow me to live the way I currently do has more balls of steel than I ever will and deserves the appropriate gratitude.*********

So thank you you sane brave men and women of past and present for doing a job I could never do!!!  

But just like any job, social circle, or society there are rotten apples that give the others a bad wrap...and I just happen to be the magnet for the small population of psychotic twats that are enlisted. I won't even call them men because that would give real men a bad wrap, these...um....egotistical maniacal sociopathic testerone driven primative apes that happen to inhabit the human male form have maybe 2 brain cells. 1 for controlling breathing and heart beat the 2nd to encourage them to cheat, lie, threaten abuse, and think that women deserve less respect than the shit on the bottom of their boots....Let me give you one little tip on life. Karma is a bitch and it will rear its pretty little head and rock your world because of past actions.

The reason for the above statement will be clear soon enough.....

Like every person on the first day of class, you attempt to know thy neighbor in order to have contacts to study with or ask for some assistance if having a hard time understanding a concept. So I of course get to know the people at my table and I was thinking this will be fine, one guy already graduated and works in the finance industry and the other....lets call him Deputy Douchebag is married with a child on the way in one month and military.

Deputy Douchebag and I got to together to go over homework problems in a public location one time then the next time we got together to go over the next set of homework problems, I received a text message asking "Should I take my ring off so you can pretend I'm not married" To this I responded "Keep your ring on be faithful, we will be working on accounting that is it"

He showed up without a ring. Kept trying to get close to me where I continued to shut him down and brought up his wife at all times from how they met, how long have they been married, etc....End of study night two.

The next class period I rocked my quiz, while doucher slept through class missing the quiz then expected me to share the answers the teacher gave us for the homework and I blew him off. So after class I get a nice little text message about how much of  Bitch I am....so my response was "Don't be an ass because you were a slacker and didn't show for class. You can call me any name in the book and I'll even help ya out and add some just to make it fun (this really pisses guys off if you call yourself names when they are trying to act all tough). But you have your panties in a wad because you are feeling rejected and I don't know how many times I have to make it clear that me and ANY married man will never be anything, hell I wouldn't even talk to you if it wasn't for class." 

Skip forward to today's class-he doesn't even sit at my table anymore thank goodness! End of class approaches, professor is still talking about the upcoming exam and DD decides to get up and leave and the teacher is like sir where are you going? He was like home and proceeded to walk to the door the professor asked the guy to sit back down til hes finished and the kid continues on his way out. The professor then ask for his last name and then called the kid a Jackass as soon he left. I could have high-fived my mean sexist teacher tonight!! 

Here is a perfect little song for today's blog, don't mess with a lady....she will win, or at least make you wish you let her win!

School for Sexist

Well hello people who read this piece of crap (including the one person in Germany....seriously....odd but cool you read it)


The bees are buzzing the birds are chirping the sky is blue school is in session whats a girl to do?


Well, first off I lied to you the sky in OKC is actually smoked filled because apparently Hell is full and the Devil has decided Oklahoma would make great new stomping grounds and decided to set it all on fire to go with the extreme record breaking heat. Thanks Satan-appreciate it! *eye roll*


Now, about this thing they call school. I think I may have stepped back to Leave it to Beaver days where girls were not suppose to have a voice and sexism was rampant throughout the workplace and higher education. I have this Intermediate Accounting professor....who let me just call him Professor Xavier (yes, he is wheelchair bound; and no I'm not making fun of anyone in wheelchair because accidents occurs defective births happen its a part of life and I use to want to work with prosthetic devices...but back to my story). So Prof X on the first day of class told the guys its good they are wanting to become CPA's because that means they will do well in money and attract the ladies. To then continue to say that its good the ladies want to be CPA's because odds are they will go through 4 or 5 husbands in their life time by either divorce, driving them to kill themselves, murdering them, or marrying old just for the purpose of collecting the old mans life insurance policy and that we will need to know how to manage all this fortune we will get since after all we will be outliving all our male counterparts. End of Day 1.


Day 2. Prof X decides he will start the day with a sexist joke and end it with a sexist joke (apparently this is how every class starts...I have 12 weeks of this 2 days a week and 2 jokes per day= 48 sexist jokes towards women by the end of this class) But he is telling typical ones of why has evolution made women's feet smaller than mens? So they can stand closer to the stove.  On top of this he yells at people that are coming into the room so needless to say my nervous bladder kicks in because what if this girl has to pee am I going to be yelled at?? I have now entered hell-Please keep all hands and feet inside the cart at all times!


So needless to say, this makes me want to pipe up and out do his sexist jokes and tell better ones that aren't so common towards my own gender just to shut him up once and for all. Now you ask what jokes might I know, well take it from me being a tall amazon like blond female with lots of male friends and a Dad that likes to crack jokes too, I have heard them all!! So here are some:


Why are Hurricanes named after Women?
They are wet & wild when they come and take your house when they leave


How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowplow?
Give the bitch a shovel


If your women is yelling at you in the living room, what have you done wrong?
Made her leash in the kitchen too long


A man and a woman get into an argument and ends up running over the woman. Who's at fault?
The woman, she shouldn't have been out of the kitchen


Why do women never wear watches?
The stove has a clock


They say a womans' work is never done...maybe that's why they get paid less


The dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door. Who do you let in first?
The dog, at least he will shut up once hes inside.




I just have to remember:
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." — Marilyn Monroe 

My name is an anagram for "Ah sin!"

Well well, guess I took a bit of a hiatus from updating so here is what has been going on.

• Beyond Broke (Donations and sugar daddies are welcome!) paid off my tuition for school and one of my books alone is 450 bucks (that is also after checking online for the book too!)
• AHHHH! School starts in one week!  With that, there is an internship/job fair going on at the end of September and this girl is going to attend.
• Dating life still belongs in a romantic comedy minus the fairy tale ending
• Life is about to get busy work all day school at night and going to attempt to trim and tone at the gym the 4 nights I'm up at the school after my night classes **fingers crossed**

When I'm stressed to the max, especially during school, I always remember it could always be worse, ei:

Now on to the stuff that matters people!!


I like to assume if you are reading this bs then you have graduated to at least an 8th grade grammar level-so give yourself a big ol bear hug and pat on the back! Go You! Now stop molesting yourself and listen up....


Please I beg of you to stop spelling tomorrow-tomarrow, you're-your, and definitely-defiantly.  

Because when I get a text message that says something along the lines of "your so much fun! We are most defiantly hanging out tomarrow" It makes me want to ask you who we are undermining by hanging out on some day called tomarrow? And that just makes me look snotty so I shut my mouth and tolerate the stupidity hoping they at least spell check other things in life.


Oh also if you don't know what an Anagram is Look it up then you'll understand the title to this blog.


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Side note: I think short guys have a tall girl fetish, they seem to be the only ones with balls to actually approach me and hit on me. Which would be all good and great but when you are standing and at a motorboat level-I'm going to have to politely say no thank you.


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Next time I update I will losing all grasp on my sanity so I will leave you with a memorable quote....Now name that movie!
"But you can't win a marathon without putting some band aids on your nipples!"

Let's be MORE than FRIENDS

First off I'm a super straight forward person.

I'm not the type to just casually stand idly by if I like a guy, I have no issue approaching someone saying "hey here's my number we should hang out sometime" I appreciate the same in return, because let's face it I'm blond I don't catch on to the hints of casual flirting meaning you like me. You basically need to go caveman style on me-club me over the head drag me back to your cave by the hair and then and only then will I know "Oh Wow, this guy actually has an interest in me" (Side note: I'm not talking about taking advantage of me or getting raped lets clear that up right now!!) 

I don't enjoy the games of dating and I don't have the time for games...If you like me and I like you then lets go! Stop with all this bullshit I'm going to wait 3 days before I call so I don't seem desperate crap because the entire purpose of dating is to get to know someone and see if you would actually enjoy their company more often and how the hell are you going to do that if you ignore the person for 3 days and make them think that you have no interest in them for who knows what reason! Guys listen up, when you do this and the girl actually likes you it is hard as hell to not send a text your way and then they begin to semi crack thinking "Was I ugly? Am I too fat for him? Did I have something stuck in my teeth? Wait we hugged twice doesn't that mean something? Maybe that was like a thank you hug and a thank god I never have to deal with you hug?etc.....:" 

And let's face it girls it is harder  for us to get rejected but step up the plate every once in a while because really what's the worse thing that is going to happen is that person is going to go "no thanks" Well that is just dandy, your best friend is hotter anyways!!

Also, not sure if it is just me but I really appreciate when the person does explain why no additional date and is honest about it because how are you suppose to improve yourself with out some productive criticism? Sure some of the things they may not like about me I won't even think twice about but others I'd be like "Oh wow I had no idea I did that. That is awful of me!"

To conclude, everyone knows pretty shortly if you they want to spend time with someone I mean after all why are you hanging out to begin with....so stop all the games! The world would be so much easier to be straight forward. So here's a hypothetical list of people I would always say yes to so there will never be a question about it:

Uncle Jesse Have Mercy

Zach Morris because who wouldn't

Kelly Kapowski because who didn't want to be her

Pauly D just because it would be highly entertaining

Batman because he's ripped

Johnny Depp no matter what character or outfit he is in

Billy Bob Thornton just because his confidence is sexy as hell

Ryan Lebar just to see if I could turn him straight

And all my childhood/high school crushes from Owasso as follows in chronological order

Michael-we always sat next to each other cause of our last names just a pretty awesome guy

Jeff-7th grade sat next to him during science and crushed hard

Kenneth-because he was mr bad boy, the crush was so bad I stuttered anytime he was in sight

John-He had pretty eyes but he was a grade younger than me

Isaac-He was a grade older but who knows why I liked him-prob because he was taller than me

Music is my Mistress

This post is just about music I like that isn't on the radio. Disclaimer: I listen to everything so I'm sure there will be plenty you will dislike!


Lissie is a very under appreciated artist in America





Jonathan Tyler and the Northern Lights is a great rock band



Just a good electropop song





I love all of Mickey Avalon's stuff *** Do the Jane Fonda!



Been listening to Meriwether for about 10 years now and still love every single song and they are phenomenal live:



Bryan J has a beautiful voice check out his cover of Pretty Wings if you want to hear him live but here's my favorite of him:



Both of these artist are great on their own but this song's lyrics hit home for so many people! If you like Erik check out his song called hurtful

Knowledge is power, now learn to DRIVE!

Okay, first off I know you are the best driver on the road and everyone else just happens to be the idiot. 


All Oklahoma people think they are the best drivers and Texas thinks they are the best drivers but in truth a mass majority of drivers are just idiots that were lucky to pass the test. Not saying I'm a superior driver by any means but my dad did teach me some things that they don't teach you in drivers ed or test you on that will help you anytime you are driving. So here they are:


1.    Highway Numbering System-Highways running East/West start with an even number while Highways running North/South start with an odd number. Also any route divisible by 5 (ei, I-40) is intended to be major arteries of travel. While three digit highway numbers tend to be bypass highways that will take you through the actual major city. 


2.    Sign Placement-When you are driving and you see the route sign saying a town or highway number then you see that little sign above saying which exit to take. Take note to the placement of that exit sign. If it is positioned on the left of the route sign-this means your exit will be on the left. If it is positioned on the right of the route sign-this means your exit will be on the right. If it is positioned directly over the middle-this means stay in that lane. If it doesn't have an exit sign-it means  to just continue on the highways. Please pay attention to this one seriously it makes your life soooooo much easier!!


The reason I bring up these two tips, is I'm tired of getting behind people that don't know them and then decide to cut me off on the highway cause its a last minute "oh crap!" decision on their part. Or they travel at a slower rate causing more danger on the highway cause others are rushing up behind them.

Snap, Crackle, POP!!

I had an unbelievable 4th of July weekend....and I don't mean it was spectacular (which it was). I mean that stuff that happened seemed straight out of a movie.


First off, Scott (my pretty awesome brother) was home from Maryland so everyone was stoked to see him. Since he was home everyone headed home for the holiday to hang out so that made my mom's house a youth hostel-grand total of 9 people + other people that visited and left.


I, however opted out of sleeping on an air mattress and stayed with Sierra at her place the entire...it's the little things in life you have to smile about such as not waking up on the floor cause the mattress deflated. So here goes a weekend breakdown.


Saturday:
         Sierra, Matt, and myself decided to head to Oologah lake to swim after having breakfast with the family. As soon as we get in the water a couple hanging on a raft asked if we were one of them...slightly confused Matt asked what they meant. The couple explained that they were having a narcotics rehab sober living celebration at the lake that weekend and that were there 200 of them there and they thought we were one of them. Matt's response was simple sorry but no we aren't...they swam away fast. We then were wondering if we looked like former crack heads with our full set of pearly whites and clear skin and no tattoos and not chain smoking cigarettes to replace one addiction with another. They then start a serenity prayer in the middle of the water. When we were laying out there was man arguing with a woman about stealing his rafts and the rangers got involved. Then about 20 minutes later we are in the water again and this boat is cranking the engine and it is obviously water logged but the dad did not give up and it is floating towards the swimming section as he cranks it one last final time when the motor lights on fire. The rangers on shore are still dealing with the raft ordeal and Sierra with her super whistling powers saves the day to get their attention where they casually walk to the fire while another couple dashes to the fire and grab the extinguisher out of their boat and have the fire out before the rangers get down to shore. Fast forward another 30 minutes and the man is getting arrested by the sheriff.


Later in the evening Sierra said we should have worn our new shirts. Our Uncle has a pharmacy and they sell store t-shirts that on the back say "Where do you get your drugs?" Haha Classic!





Sunday:
        Hung out at the lake again then started our family festivities and celebrated with fireworks. Had some delicious food and some pretty loud firecrackers. But Sierra and Shelb's friend Luke had the "Manly man firework package" Packed full of fountains and sparklers-pretty sure his were voted the best....or maybe the funniest.





Monday:
        We all celebrated with a late lunch with my dad and his parents and got to visit with them for a bit. Now if only they would cook burgers like that for Christmas instead of random selection of shrimp, chili, and cheese....

PEZ mobile

So this post is rather pointless, but I can't help it.


I was driving tonight and out of the corner of my eye, this beautiful car caught my attention. So of course I had to loop back around and snap some pictures because I aspire to be this awesome one day!








SWEET!!

Adventures of the Self Important

A typical weekend means I usually have to visit either the grocery store or the oh so popular Wal-Mart. And this weekend it ended up being Wal-Mart twice! First time, grocery shopping. Second time this morning I forgot something from the previous trip.


I assume everyone knows there is a pedestrian walking area in front of the front doors of any local store and as a rule following driver you are suppose to yield to them. I guess my assumptions think to highly of people, especially those that think their time is the only precious thing on Earth and are too self important to actually obey such silly rules ;)


So as I'm pulling up the pedestrian area and yielding to the mother holding the hand of what I'm assuming to be a 2 to 3yr old child as they proceed to cross...the Edmonite (basically a great term used to describe those who live in Edmond that have more money than they really know what to do with and so they spend their days in plastic surgery offices and at the gym while their husbands work their butts off to provide such a lifestyle) in a Mercedes CLS behind me apparently thought I was just stopping to waste their precious little time. Little did they know I was actually stopping to prevent vehicular manslaughter, as they try to fly around me and then they screech on the breaks when they realize they came about 3 feet from hitting a child and the mom grabbing her girl up in her arms and everyone watching them and me waving at them like "Hi you...yes you....the one that is now looking like an idiot" Needless to say the Mercedes then followed suite and got behind me to find a parking spot. 


Something my parents taught me is if you are in that big of a hurry you should have left the house sooner.


So Ms/Mrs Mercedes I sure hope you almost hitting a human with your car woke you up to realize the world isn't in that big of a rush and you getting to a parking spot 1 minute later isn't going to make up for lost time. 


I swear the nicer the vehicle the worse the driver it seems. Side note: I also sat behind a truck too busy texting to actually make a right hand turn when there wasn't even anyone on the road then when I honked after waiting a while thinking he might pull his head out of his ummm yeah....he flipped me off then finally drove-CLASSY! I can't wait for texting while driving to be illegal in Oklahoma.


I don't condone videotaping and driving either but this is a pretty awesome video illustrating my point:

A Tall Order

Reason for this post is I had three people do this to me today!

I don't think a week goes by where I can go out in public without someone making some comment about my height-some comments or stares do make me feel very self conscious and others make me very proud to be tall.  With that being said my height varies depending what convenience store I'm leaving but all and all I'm usually around the 5'11 mark.

Unfortunately, the avg American female height is 5'4 and the avg American male height is 5'9-so makes for a rather interesting dating life to even try to find someone that 1. is taller and 2. enjoys the company of a taller girls. From what I can gather men like to feel like the protector and its hard to do when a girl is eye to eye with him. So here goes a list of Pro's and Con's on height.

Pros:

1. Hides weight easily

2. Get noticed sometimes for the right reasons-such as easier to spot in a crowd. Hard to get lost. Get noticed by guys before other shorter girls (well unless they are all skanked up in hoochie wear)

3. Forces you to be more confident

4. According to studies, the taller the person is the more likely they get paid for (currently so not the case!)

5. Heels aren't necessary to have achieve the look of mile long legs

6. Not much I can't reach so no need to ask someone to get something off the top shelf

Cons:

1. Shopping!!! I have to buy jeans/pants, shirts (if I want the shoulders to hit right), long sleeve shirts (because with being tall I also have long arms), and jackets online to get the right height which means not only do I get to pay more I also get to pay for shipping! But also they don't make cute clothes for tall girls. 

2. The gawking. I can be in a store and I'll hear "Oh wow check out how tall she is" or the occasional person asking if I can get something off the top shelf for them because I'm the tallest around just so they can ask me to put it back and grab the other one as if I work there. 

3. Constantly hearing "WOW you are tall!" ...I get it...I really do. You are not the first person to come to the conclusion and point it out to me as if I just grew a third arm. 

4. As cute as heels are, my confidence isn't that amazing to be rocking heels all the time and strolling around at 6'2 and making people scared I'm Godzilla and here to eat and attack their village.

5. Dating: It is truly hard because guys want a little girl to help stroke his ego to make him feel macho and that he can protect-I get it and its understandable because I want to feel small when dating someone. Got to love social norms. With that being said I have dated shorter, and here are a funny examples of why I try not to.  Lets call him Mitch, he grabbed a crate and I do mean a foot tall crate from the back of his work and stood on it to kiss me bye....talk about mood killer! Needless to say we didn't date much longer after that.

In short, there are some hang ups being tall but at the end of the day I'm totally worth looking up to and worth the climb to get to know!

Debit Card and Stripper Dust

So yesterday was definitely a case of the Mondays!


Let's start off with the fact I got new Victoria Secret panties....its all downhill from here. As a girl, if its sparkly odds are I'm naturally attracted to it so to find panties with glitter that were cute and not buy them? I think not!So I bought them :) 


So these wonderful little panties are great in concept bad in design. Needless to say glitter was EVERYWHERE and I mean everywhere. It looked like I got a lapdance from PJ Sparkles. Needless to say this must be what it is like to be Vajazzeled. A trend I will never understand and truly hope doesn't ever catch on.


Next, I lose my debit card. Anyone that knows me knows I can't keep track of any kind of card. Last week it was my license for the 40th time this year and this week its the debit card so freaking out I go through my car and apartment like a mad woman looking for this thing. (Side note: Cards should come with a noise alert for when you lose them you can set them off to hunt them down) The debit card is no where and I mean no where so I call up my bank call my card in as lost, they were nice about it said I'll have a new card in 7 days. 


So an hour passes, I sit down to actually create this blog and I'm thinking my jeans are hitting me funny so I go to readjust the top of them and its hard. I move my shirt that has an elastic band at the bottom and out drops my Debit card!!! It has snuck out of my pocket and into my shirt. I didn't think about checking the shirt I was wearing for my debit card. 


All I can say is:

Oklahoma Girl

My personal reasons as to why to blog:

1. My sanity.

Sometimes it feels like there is really no one to talk to so why not just write it down to get it out of the system.

2. My dating (or lack there of) life.

Everyone knows that Oklahoma is the land of the married, seems everyone is married by age 24 or at the very least in a very very serious relationship. As for me I haven't been so fortunate which is why I wish John Hughes directed my life. Dating for me has been a complete train wreck and as much as I enjoy dating it would be nice to have what others have but I honestly don't know if it will ever happen for me. So this allows me to see the funny/fun side of meeting new people and the adventures that occur.

"Whatever happened to chivalry? Does it only exist in 80's movies? I want John Cusack holding a boombox outside my window. I wanna ride off on a lawnmower with Patrick Dempsey. I want Jake from Sixteen Candles waiting outside the church for me. I want Judd Nelson thrusting his fist into the air because he knows he got me. Just once I want my life to be like an 80's movie, preferably one with a really awesome musical number for no apparent reason. But no, no, John Hughes did not direct my life.."

 3. Back to School to Prove to Dad I'm not a Fool!


I already graduated from college with a rather useless degree but of course the advisers don't warn you of this when you select your major. So my Biology degree is virtually just an expensive piece of paper in a pretty frame unless I get my doctorate.  So between this and the economy in its current state, I've decided to enroll this Fall semester for an Accounting degree.


4. Personal Goals.


Let's face it is so easy to say you have a goal and then just forget about it because only yourself is holding you accountable. Well by putting goals into the blog I have to back them up otherwise not only am I lying to myself but I'm also lying to others.