Men that can dance steal my heart.

So I went shopping this weekend for some adult professional clothes because I have none since dropping weight and have come to the conclusion that even in the women's department they expect you to a flat chested boy. Here's an idea for designers-maybe allow an extra inch in the bust line so it's not pulling apart looking like its going to bust open like the beginning of a Warrant video. No I didn't buy a button up shirt to bust open the front of and roll around on the hood of a car and make it rain on this ho....sorry to disappoint. And since when did it become socially appropriate to advertise on a mannequin in the teenager department a see through shirt with just a little bra on underneath it? Yes this is the parents fault their children are failures. You dress them like skanks and don't expect them to end up on 16 and pregnant...Really? How about you stop trying to make your kids like you and be a parent for their first 18yrs of their life and friend there after. But I digress... Also it is almost September which means about 60 days until you vote for a new President. No worries I'm not going to say vote for so and so because let's face it, I don't want to be blamed for your choices. All I'm going to say is maybe turn off the news on the TV because every channel is biased one way or another and do a little independent research. Seek out the truth, watch the debates, look at past words and actions of both candidates and see if they do as they say. Also don't be that person that is like I'm such an such party and I wanted Ron Paul so I'm not going to vote period. You not voting is still a problem...pick what you think is the lesser of two evils and give it a go. Most importantly vote, there is no reason not to-they can send you an absentee ballot to where you vote in the privacy of your own home and send it back in the mail.

Sick Cycled Carousel

My week has been interesting to say the least. Let's start with the funny and end with the sad.




Most awkward phone call I have ever had


11:30pm Thursday May 3rd ****RING RING**** Private number


Caller: Hey is this Shian?
Me: Yes, who is this?
Caller: My name is (Girls Name), I was just curious if you know (Boys Name). 
Me: Yes
Caller: Are you guys dating?
Me: Nope, not since he cheated on me with you.
Caller: Oh, ok...I didn't know that.
Me: Yep, dated for about 3 months then you tagged him in a facebook picture of you guys kissing. When I confronted him with just a "looks like you are feeling better" He told me to not be a brat.

Talky, talky, talky...She is a cool chick. We talked about all the lies he told me and all the lies he told her. Then he got busted again


Caller: Well he's out of town but I hope I can catch him soon.
Me: No he's not. He text me an hour ago saying he was at a bar and that he wants to come over.
Caller: Are you kidding me?
Me: Nope, he even sent me a pic of the bar. I said no and said he is funny. He is claiming he is single by the way. 








Now on to the sad story.


I use to date this guy friend of mine that works in the oilfield business.I missed his last phone call of him wishing me luck on an accounting test. I tried to call him back but he never answered. He stopped talking to me out of the blue. No goodbye, no more this is done...nothing, I thought he just lost interest and moved on.  His twin brother managed to track me down this last week and took me to dinner. He said that,  that night he called me was the night he was killed on the job and that he has been trying to find me this whole time but couldn't find me because he didn't know my last name and was looking for Cheyennes.  R.I.P kid.

I Spy a DOUCHEBAG

It has been quiet some time before I wrote anything on here. I've been dealing with a lot of personal crap to sort through and struggling to deal with. But out of all that personal stuff, I think I have finally figured out the golden rules of identifying you're about to date a douchebag:


If they are a self proclaimed nice guy-RUN SCREAMING! 

The reason I say this is because no guy that is truly a nice guy will ever have to verbally say it convince you. His actions speaks louder than words. I'm guilty for falling for this lovely little line "I'm a nice guy so girls walk all over me that's why I'm single"  No the reason you are single is because you are a douchebag and you work this line on gullible girls like myself. We believe "OMG finally a nice guy, one that won't hulk smash our hearts YAY!" But little do we know you have just infiltrated our brains and spreading like a virus waiting for the kill.

If they never initiate a conversation-DELETE THEIR NUMBER NOW!

I know this is hard as a girl to do because what we crave is for someone to show us that it just might be possible to be loved and cared about. We want that happily ever after even if its the most stone hard anti feelings girl in the world- deep down she wants the house the kids and the pitbull. But if some douchebag is feeding you lines and chatting it all up and makes you feel all special before and after the date, then slowly drops away. Guess what!? He's moved on to some other girl that he can butter up and try to get what he wants out of her. Don't sit there staring at your phone, trying to make it ring or beep with a text message. It isn't going to happen. Sure you can try to strike up a conversation with him but the most you are going to get is some 2 to 3 word sentences that should scream at you "That should shut her up" The only reason he is still responding is because he is keeping that door open just in case....

If there is any hint of an ex baggage say the following- WE CAN BE FRIENDS

If he is talking about his ex or seems hung up on his ex, don't be thinking "Oh I can help him get over him and like me better than her" WRONG. This is a plan for disaster. The most you can do is be his friend. If he doesn't understand that, then it's his lost. There is no sense in dating someone while they are thinking of someone else. If you truly want to be hurt and possibly left for the ex-feel free. But my suggestion if you are into this masochistic behavior, you might as well do what EVE6 says and put your heart in a blender and watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion....rendezvous he's through with you!

If he is vain-YES THIS SONG IS ABOUT YOU.

It has taken me a very very very very long time to come to terms with drop dead handsome men with chiseled features and washboard abs and arms of steal are no good to me. This is an unfortunate circumstance because let's face it, these men know they look amazing. However, in order to be this man, it means they have to be very into health and or just vain. If it is the vain aspect, they love themselves so much that there is no way they will ever be able to care about you because the love of their life is their own reflection and they will never break up. So ladies, just window shop these men and look for the guys that TREAT you right and not the ones that look like a fabulous accessory on your arms. 

Now You're Just Somebody I Use to Know

I know it's been a while but I have an excuse. I was too busy with the holiday and acing two courses.


Now on to the present.


Pros: I've had some revelations, I'm getting stuff on the right track, and I'm going skiing at the end of the month for the first time ever, then I'm turning 27 on Superbowl Sunday.


Cons: Dating, No one will want to do a thing with me on my birthday because it is Superbowl Sunday or even remember it, Guys, My ass is prob gonna hurt from falling so much while skiing, Boys


Now that you've got the good, you've got that bad, there you have THE FACTS OF LIFE!


I've had some male issues recently- and well the past 10 years to be completely honest- that have made me ponder why the bad dating karma. What on earth did I do in my past life to make the dating gods super pissed at me?


The only thing I came up with is maybe in a past life I was a female serial killer that went town to town cutting off guys testicals. I could see my current dating life sucking if I did that in a past life.


Touche' Karma. You have won the battle but not the war!


Now for an  onslaught of office music to listen to for every time you screwed over until you either get 1. a happy ever after or 2. a dog













One of my favorites:





My number ONE favorite:

Bean Counter

The more classes I attend the more it makes me wonder, what do you do when your passion isn’t profitable? Do you settle for just some career that you will forever be doomed to hate and dread and spiral into a perpetual case of the Mondays yet highly profitable? Or do you go into a field that you remotely have interest in that pays very little but highly rewarding?

Does money equal happiness when your real dreams and aspirations are unobtainable?

I seem to be always trying to find the answer to this and I think I need to find out soon. From an outside perspective most late 20 year olds seem to have their life together. They have met someone they can stand to be around for more than 3 months at a time. They are in a field of work they seemingly don’t want to slice their wrist to avoid. They have a one tone car and a house or apt without a roommate. Now me on the other hand I have a biology degree with only a mediocre GPA-which is why nursing or medical field is out. Plus I’m not big into being coughed, vomited, bled, or pooed on.  I am still rocking the same car since I was 16 despite a wreck so it’s a two tone color-sweet silver hood! I term out at about 2 dates to 3 months on dating people before its done.

My ideal job would be research/talking to serial killers. Yes, this could potentially be a job such as a profile with the BAU but they really want someone that is a psychology graduate.  Plus that requires living out on the East Coast for the most part and I really have no desire for that coast. Plus if you do your hobby for your job, you would really want to take your work home and I really don’t need to limit my social life even more!

Currently studying accounting and the more and more I am in the class the more and more I realize Hey zeussssssss!!! WHY GOD why!?! But the perk is the pay and the fact they will always be in need. So to count beans or to not count beans, that is the question. That question will be answered after exam 2, if it’s a no go then might as well  torture high school students with my nerdy love all things science.

I wouldn’t mind teaching Biology but with all the government stuff, I want to actually have a job!!! With a teaching job I could still continue my current job at night or weekends or on breaks as a subsidized income. Plus how awesome would it be to work in a 4 day a week school district, 3 day weekends, holidays, and summers off-Where the hell do I sign up for that lap of luxury with a  livable salary of the national average of 55,934 based on information provided by  Salary.com. Yes I know Oklahoma salary is lower than the avg and you have a lot of work you end up doing at home.

Got any input for me?? Do you know me well enough to recommend a path you think I’d rock at? Preferably one that allows me to achieve my current goal of a one tone car….I know I aim high!

My life is like a Lemon Drop: I'm sucking on the bitter to get to the SWEET part

************Side note before I continue: I appreciate the military I really do and anyone that signed up to potentially be shot or blown up to allow me to live the way I currently do has more balls of steel than I ever will and deserves the appropriate gratitude.*********

So thank you you sane brave men and women of past and present for doing a job I could never do!!!  

But just like any job, social circle, or society there are rotten apples that give the others a bad wrap...and I just happen to be the magnet for the small population of psychotic twats that are enlisted. I won't even call them men because that would give real men a bad wrap, these...um....egotistical maniacal sociopathic testerone driven primative apes that happen to inhabit the human male form have maybe 2 brain cells. 1 for controlling breathing and heart beat the 2nd to encourage them to cheat, lie, threaten abuse, and think that women deserve less respect than the shit on the bottom of their boots....Let me give you one little tip on life. Karma is a bitch and it will rear its pretty little head and rock your world because of past actions.

The reason for the above statement will be clear soon enough.....

Like every person on the first day of class, you attempt to know thy neighbor in order to have contacts to study with or ask for some assistance if having a hard time understanding a concept. So I of course get to know the people at my table and I was thinking this will be fine, one guy already graduated and works in the finance industry and the other....lets call him Deputy Douchebag is married with a child on the way in one month and military.

Deputy Douchebag and I got to together to go over homework problems in a public location one time then the next time we got together to go over the next set of homework problems, I received a text message asking "Should I take my ring off so you can pretend I'm not married" To this I responded "Keep your ring on be faithful, we will be working on accounting that is it"

He showed up without a ring. Kept trying to get close to me where I continued to shut him down and brought up his wife at all times from how they met, how long have they been married, etc....End of study night two.

The next class period I rocked my quiz, while doucher slept through class missing the quiz then expected me to share the answers the teacher gave us for the homework and I blew him off. So after class I get a nice little text message about how much of  Bitch I am....so my response was "Don't be an ass because you were a slacker and didn't show for class. You can call me any name in the book and I'll even help ya out and add some just to make it fun (this really pisses guys off if you call yourself names when they are trying to act all tough). But you have your panties in a wad because you are feeling rejected and I don't know how many times I have to make it clear that me and ANY married man will never be anything, hell I wouldn't even talk to you if it wasn't for class." 

Skip forward to today's class-he doesn't even sit at my table anymore thank goodness! End of class approaches, professor is still talking about the upcoming exam and DD decides to get up and leave and the teacher is like sir where are you going? He was like home and proceeded to walk to the door the professor asked the guy to sit back down til hes finished and the kid continues on his way out. The professor then ask for his last name and then called the kid a Jackass as soon he left. I could have high-fived my mean sexist teacher tonight!! 

Here is a perfect little song for today's blog, don't mess with a lady....she will win, or at least make you wish you let her win!

School for Sexist

Well hello people who read this piece of crap (including the one person in Germany....seriously....odd but cool you read it)


The bees are buzzing the birds are chirping the sky is blue school is in session whats a girl to do?


Well, first off I lied to you the sky in OKC is actually smoked filled because apparently Hell is full and the Devil has decided Oklahoma would make great new stomping grounds and decided to set it all on fire to go with the extreme record breaking heat. Thanks Satan-appreciate it! *eye roll*


Now, about this thing they call school. I think I may have stepped back to Leave it to Beaver days where girls were not suppose to have a voice and sexism was rampant throughout the workplace and higher education. I have this Intermediate Accounting professor....who let me just call him Professor Xavier (yes, he is wheelchair bound; and no I'm not making fun of anyone in wheelchair because accidents occurs defective births happen its a part of life and I use to want to work with prosthetic devices...but back to my story). So Prof X on the first day of class told the guys its good they are wanting to become CPA's because that means they will do well in money and attract the ladies. To then continue to say that its good the ladies want to be CPA's because odds are they will go through 4 or 5 husbands in their life time by either divorce, driving them to kill themselves, murdering them, or marrying old just for the purpose of collecting the old mans life insurance policy and that we will need to know how to manage all this fortune we will get since after all we will be outliving all our male counterparts. End of Day 1.


Day 2. Prof X decides he will start the day with a sexist joke and end it with a sexist joke (apparently this is how every class starts...I have 12 weeks of this 2 days a week and 2 jokes per day= 48 sexist jokes towards women by the end of this class) But he is telling typical ones of why has evolution made women's feet smaller than mens? So they can stand closer to the stove.  On top of this he yells at people that are coming into the room so needless to say my nervous bladder kicks in because what if this girl has to pee am I going to be yelled at?? I have now entered hell-Please keep all hands and feet inside the cart at all times!


So needless to say, this makes me want to pipe up and out do his sexist jokes and tell better ones that aren't so common towards my own gender just to shut him up once and for all. Now you ask what jokes might I know, well take it from me being a tall amazon like blond female with lots of male friends and a Dad that likes to crack jokes too, I have heard them all!! So here are some:


Why are Hurricanes named after Women?
They are wet & wild when they come and take your house when they leave


How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowplow?
Give the bitch a shovel


If your women is yelling at you in the living room, what have you done wrong?
Made her leash in the kitchen too long


A man and a woman get into an argument and ends up running over the woman. Who's at fault?
The woman, she shouldn't have been out of the kitchen


Why do women never wear watches?
The stove has a clock


They say a womans' work is never done...maybe that's why they get paid less


The dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door. Who do you let in first?
The dog, at least he will shut up once hes inside.




I just have to remember:
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." — Marilyn Monroe