Wednesday, August 31, 2011

School for Sexist

Well hello people who read this piece of crap (including the one person in Germany....seriously....odd but cool you read it)


The bees are buzzing the birds are chirping the sky is blue school is in session whats a girl to do?


Well, first off I lied to you the sky in OKC is actually smoked filled because apparently Hell is full and the Devil has decided Oklahoma would make great new stomping grounds and decided to set it all on fire to go with the extreme record breaking heat. Thanks Satan-appreciate it! *eye roll*


Now, about this thing they call school. I think I may have stepped back to Leave it to Beaver days where girls were not suppose to have a voice and sexism was rampant throughout the workplace and higher education. I have this Intermediate Accounting professor....who let me just call him Professor Xavier (yes, he is wheelchair bound; and no I'm not making fun of anyone in wheelchair because accidents occurs defective births happen its a part of life and I use to want to work with prosthetic devices...but back to my story). So Prof X on the first day of class told the guys its good they are wanting to become CPA's because that means they will do well in money and attract the ladies. To then continue to say that its good the ladies want to be CPA's because odds are they will go through 4 or 5 husbands in their life time by either divorce, driving them to kill themselves, murdering them, or marrying old just for the purpose of collecting the old mans life insurance policy and that we will need to know how to manage all this fortune we will get since after all we will be outliving all our male counterparts. End of Day 1.


Day 2. Prof X decides he will start the day with a sexist joke and end it with a sexist joke (apparently this is how every class starts...I have 12 weeks of this 2 days a week and 2 jokes per day= 48 sexist jokes towards women by the end of this class) But he is telling typical ones of why has evolution made women's feet smaller than mens? So they can stand closer to the stove.  On top of this he yells at people that are coming into the room so needless to say my nervous bladder kicks in because what if this girl has to pee am I going to be yelled at?? I have now entered hell-Please keep all hands and feet inside the cart at all times!


So needless to say, this makes me want to pipe up and out do his sexist jokes and tell better ones that aren't so common towards my own gender just to shut him up once and for all. Now you ask what jokes might I know, well take it from me being a tall amazon like blond female with lots of male friends and a Dad that likes to crack jokes too, I have heard them all!! So here are some:


Why are Hurricanes named after Women?
They are wet & wild when they come and take your house when they leave


How do you turn your dishwasher into a snowplow?
Give the bitch a shovel


If your women is yelling at you in the living room, what have you done wrong?
Made her leash in the kitchen too long


A man and a woman get into an argument and ends up running over the woman. Who's at fault?
The woman, she shouldn't have been out of the kitchen


Why do women never wear watches?
The stove has a clock


They say a womans' work is never done...maybe that's why they get paid less


The dog is barking at the back door, and your wife is yelling at the front door. Who do you let in first?
The dog, at least he will shut up once hes inside.




I just have to remember:
"Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition." — Marilyn Monroe 

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

My name is an anagram for "Ah sin!"

Well well, guess I took a bit of a hiatus from updating so here is what has been going on.

  • Beyond Broke (Donations and sugar daddies are welcome!) paid off my tuition for school and one of my books alone is 450 bucks (that is also after checking online for the book too!)
  • AHHHH! School starts in one week!  With that, there is an internship/job fair going on at the end of September and this girl is going to attend.
  • Dating life still belongs in a romantic comedy minus the fairy tale ending
  • Life is about to get busy work all day school at night and going to attempt to trim and tone at the gym the 4 nights I'm up at the school after my night classes **fingers crossed**
When I'm stressed to the max, especially during school, I always remember it could always be worse, ei:




Now on to the stuff that matters people!!


I like to assume if you are reading this bs then you have graduated to at least an 8th grade grammar level-so give yourself a big ol bear hug and pat on the back! Go You! Now stop molesting yourself and listen up....


Please I beg of you to stop spelling tomorrow-tomarrow, you're-your, and definitely-defiantly.  

Because when I get a text message that says something along the lines of "your so much fun! We are most defiantly hanging out tomarrow" It makes me want to ask you who we are undermining by hanging out on some day called tomarrow? And that just makes me look snotty so I shut my mouth and tolerate the stupidity hoping they at least spell check other things in life.


Oh also if you don't know what an Anagram is Look it up then you'll understand the title to this blog.


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Side note: I think short guys have a tall girl fetish, they seem to be the only ones with balls to actually approach me and hit on me. Which would be all good and great but when you are standing and at a motorboat level-I'm going to have to politely say no thank you.


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Next time I update I will losing all grasp on my sanity so I will leave you with a memorable quote....Now name that movie!
"But you can't win a marathon without putting some band aids on your nipples!"